Flying witch

My sweet little girl turned 5 this year. With her big round eyes and expressive little voice, she told me in detail that very few five year-olds can articulate, exactly what she wanted this year for her birthday picture... a witch flying in a cave with bats (she had to settle for ravens since that was all I had).

Cavewoman

My little cavewoman turned two this year. There really isn't any other theme that would be more fitting for my little lady. Passion, determination, energy- those are things that set this little lady apart.

Little Red

I've been SO incredibly grateful for the clients that have come to us over the past few months in support of our adoption fundraiser. It has been amazing, and I had more clients requesting sessions than I could accomodate. How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for providing a means by which we could finance a portion of our adoption. 

As much as I've appreciated the clients, I have desperately missed doing my own creative work. My little Calista was Little Red Riding Hood this year for Halloween. She loves our dog Lobo, the newest addition to our family, so it seemed natural to celebrate the end of photo season with Little Red and the wolf.

Woman in the tree

This wasn't at all what I had in mind when I started working on this double-exposure image, but nonetheless was good therapy after a difficult week. 

Little People, Big World

Last year for my children's birthday pictures, the theme was "Little People, Big World." We had some fun with it.

Minecraft

For my son's 9th birthday, his latest obsession.

Snow princess

I'm always curious to see what a photographer's before and after pictures look like once they are done with editing.  I love editing that is either subtle or on the other hand, full of fantasy.

Winter Scrooge

By every standard I am a winter scrooge.  The saddest thing about the first day of summer is that winter is only six months away.  And the best thing about the first day of winter is that summer is only six months away.  I would live in summer all year long if I could.  But I've found that by getting out and actually photographing the frozen world, it becomes more bearable, and actually quite lovely in it's own wintery way.  I feel narcisitic when I take photos of myself, but I had a concept in mind but wasn't sure if it would turn out.  I didn't want to waste someone else's time if it was going to be a flop. As always, this isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I guess that's just the way it goes.

Mixed Labels

I created this image several months ago but have never gotten to a point where I feel like it fully expresses what I want it to.  I still don’t feel like it’s quite there yet…

As I sat on my computer creating it, my 9 year old came up behind me and asked what I was doing.

“Take a look at this,” I said to him.  “What do you think this picture is trying to say?”

He cocked his head to a side and looked thoughtfully at the picture for several seconds.  

“I think it’s trying to say that everyone has a good, or a pretty side- and a bad, or ugly side to them.  But there is more good than there is bad,” he said.

“Yes,” I said as I wrapped my arm around him.  That’s exactly what I had been pondering over the past few days.

So often I struggle with my own judgments of people- particularly when I feel terribly let down and disappointed by them at one moment, and then surprised at their goodness and compassion in what seems like the very next moment.  It would be so much easier to put people in little boxes labeled “dangerous” or “unreliable,” and then to judge every future interaction based on what the label reads on their box.  Where it becomes tricky is when their labels read, “untrustworthy but compassionate” or “selfish but loving.”  So much disappointment and frustration comes from these “mixed labels” as we try to navigate among the people we love the most.  

But I think how often I am grateful for my own mixed labels.  “Short-tempered but well-intended,” “impulsive but thoughtful.”  How grateful I am that people haven’t written me off, or put me in a little box that bears only the label of my faults.  

I think when it all comes down to it, this is what I find the most difficult in knowing how to love people… to love them fully despite a dark side- a dark side that is a binding thread amongst all of humanity.

Little Princess

My little princess turned four this year so of course we decided to go for a princess theme for her birthday shoot!  I love this spunky little thing!

Little Angel

My sweet little Calista just turned two.  I've always felt that she is closer to heaven than most.  What a sweet and calming influence she has brought into our home.

These two share a special bond.  I love this picture because it shows the moment of distress followed by some reassurance from the man she adores.  

Little Magician

My little man turned 6 yesterday.  As we drove to the store to pick up his cake, I watched him from the rearview mirror.  He sat in the backseat of the car staring out the window absent-mindedly with a small smile on his face.  No doubt he was imagining the upcoming adventures of the day.  As I watched him, I had a wave of nostalgia come over me.  I grew up hearing parents lament over their children's vanishing youth, but I never realized how quickly it really does fly by.  What I would do to freeze time at this moment and keep him six years old forever.

He wanted a magician theme this year for his party and his yearly pictures.  While it's likely just the flavor of the month as far as obsessions go, I don't think he could have picked a more fitting theme.  Not a day has gone by since the day he was born that he hasn't made me laugh.  Oh, how I love this little boy!

Personal Project

Several months ago I had a gruesome dream in the middle of the night.  In it, Satan and his minions were torturing and mutilating women and children and I was forced to watch in horror.  In my dream, I remember sobbing and begging them to stop. 

I was awakened from my dream by my baby daughter crying, wanting to be comforted.  The dream had seemed so real that as I picked her up out of her crib, I was still shaken.  With heart still pounding and my trembling hands I rocked her back and forth, willing myself to push the images from my dream out of my head and the fear from my heart.

As she quieted down and fell back to sleep in my arms, a simple but almost audible phrase slipped into my mind, “…but he has no power here.” 

That simple phrase brought me great comfort not only in the quiet of my daughter’s bedroom that night, but also as terrible tragedies unfolded around the world in the months to come. 

I remind myself of that phrase often when the atrocities of humanity seem too terrible to bear.

“…but he has no power here.”

K

K and his mom approached me and asked me if I would take some non-traditional senior portraits for him.  He told me he loves different lighting techniques, black and white, and just about anything nonconventional- a boy after my own heart.  I was thrilled and excited for the challenge.  After several days of gathering ideas, we finally went out for our photoshoot.

And just about everything that could go wrong did go wrong- a temperamental flash, an uncooperative fog machine, a camera that decided it really hated and would not cooperate in lowlight, and to top it all off howling winds and freezing cold temperatures.

The only thing that was my saving grace amidst the chaos was K and his parent's fantastic, upbeat attitude.  I came away from the photoshoot so frustrated that I wanted to cry, but also feeling so grateful to them for their patience and optimism.  They were amazing.

We did come away with some great pictures though, I think.  I learned this lesson long ago, but it was reaffirmed to me again that planning is good, but flexibility is essential.  Very few of the images turned out the way I had planned- some were a flop, but some turned out better than I had hoped.

Gold and Green

I entered the first picture into a photography contest where the challenge was to somehow focus on the color green.  Even though I didn't win, it was fun to push my imagination and cook up a concept in my head and to then see it materialize.  I'm grateful for my beautiful model who patiently and sweetly sat while we tugged on her hair an painted her face for over an hour!

Broken Glass

The older I get, the more I realize how much of a visual person I am.  As I read books or participate in conversations, my mind constantly draws up vivid imagery.  The idea for this picture came after a conversation with a dear friend.

My friend told me of something she had once read, describing our lives as a sort of window from which we look out.  As we sit behind this glass, we are granted a view of our world and the people and experiences in it.  With each blow that comes our way- be it painful words or experiences, divorce, or the death of a loved one- our glass takes a hit.  At times it leaves a tiny ding-hardly distinguishable- but at other times, the blow can leave behind terrible damage, permanently distorting our view.

She spoke with heart-felt tenderness of someone who she holds very dear, who by no fault of her own views life through a tragically cracked and damaged window.

We all know and love people who suffer likewise.  ...And standing by and watching them suffer because of those long-ago damages, sometimes for an entire lifetime, can be almost as painful as the blows themselves.

As my friend spoke, I thought of those people who I hold dear to my heart who suffer similarly and my heart ached.

Fog

The morning after completing three days of jury duty, I woke up at 6:30am with an insatiable urge to take my camera out into the fog.  One of the hardest parts about completing my jury duty was  knowing I would be stuck in a courtroom all day, missing out on the amazing fog and frost we were getting.  Knowing that the fog would burn off by 9am and considering that it was a whopping 0 degrees outside, I didn't feel right about asking anyone to come with me on such short notice-  but I needed someone to be in my pictures!!!

I asked my husband if he would consider taking the pictures for me if I adjusted the settings beforehand and stood in as the subject.  With some quick instruction on the kind of composition I was looking for, he began clicking away.  He did a pretty good job, I think!

Steam

Three Sisters

Recently I read an article where the author personified the three virtues of faith, charity, and hope into three sisters.  What struck me was his character development of Hope, one of the least understood of the three virtues.  Hope is something I've always struggled with fully understanding as it has always seemed to be the least reliable and the more uncertain of the three.  Reading this opened my eyes and completed what for me was the missing puzzle piece in the triad of virtues.

Here is a link to the entire article (which I would highly recommend reading) but in an effort to avoid long-windedness, I'll summarize.

"Of the three, Faith may be the most well known and popular, the one whose companionship is sought most often. She’s active and energetic, definitely the can-do type. Faith can move mountains, if necessary.

"I picture Charity as being modest and refined, beautiful and gracious. In her presence you feel genuinely loved and accepted. She’s unfailingly kind and generous, patient, empathetic, aware of every need, and responsive without being asked. How could you not want the companionship of someone like Charity?

"[Hope] is serene. Her eyes have the deep, knowing look of someone well acquainted with sorrow, the luminosity of recently being wet with tears. Hope has the confidence of one who clearly sees a bright future even when the next hours seem fog shrouded. Hope is steady and strong, a friend I am glad to have beside me during my own trials."

As I read, my mind drew a vivid mental picture of the three women and I realized that I wanted to try to capture this visualization.  As I thought of who I would use, I immediately knew I wanted to use three beautiful young women that seemed to slide right into each of the three virtues, who conveniently happen to be sisters as well.  

My heart has a soft spot for "Hope," the youngest of them all.  Her life has been laden with more trials and health issues than most people have seen in a lifetime.  As anyone with children knows, a child's suffering also becomes their parent's suffering.  Her parents have also seen more than their fair share of hardship as they've dealt with the painful uncertainty of their little girl's well-being.  There's something sanctifying about people who have suffered as they have, and you feel it when you're with them.  

Thank you to my beautiful models- Faith, Charity, and Hope- who patiently endured the cold and snow to help me get these pictures.

Dust

These shots were somewhat planned and somewhat just lucky.  We were at a family reunion this past summer and I noticed the sunset was making the dust and the shapes within it looked incredible.  I quickly asked my sister if she and her daughter would come pose for me as I experimented with silhouettes in the dust.  I wasn't able to capture as much dust as I wanted so this wasn't quite what I had in mind- it's better.